The 10 Yorkie House Rules

10. You will never pee alone again

As much as you want peace and quiet just for two minutes, yorkies want to make sure that you are okay. You never know what could be going on in there. As part of their protective nature and role as the family watch dog, they will follow you in for that most private of parts of your day, because you never know how badly their human will be attacked by a ferocious roll of toilet paper. This dedication to their human’s safety can also be observed when they get into the waste basket and shred any Kleenex they find.

9. If it lands on the floor it’s mine

We each have specialties. Yorkies have these short legs and humans are long. Humans can reach stuff off shelves and Yorkies can reach the floor really easy. Yorkies can also help keep the floor clean, apart from the things they destroy themselves. This is NOT your Yorkie being a mooch. It is a Yorkie being helpful to their human. Live with it.

8. Don’t move me while I am sleeping sideways on the bed

The bed is Yorkie’s domain. If you move him slightly he will pay you back tenfold by circling and circling and switching places back and forth until you can’t sleep. So what if he would fit so much better the same way you human sleep. He is a Yorkie and will sleep sideways, just because he can. I mean a human only needs two inches to sleep in and a seven pound Yorkie needs all the space he can get his paws on. While here, your Yorkie will also engage in sheet tunneling as well. An addition to the endless circling, your Yorkie will try to dig through to the floor just to make himself comfortable.

7. You aren’t allowed to go anywhere without me

Yorkies have a little case of separation anxiety. Okay, so it’s huge. Yorkies just want to go where their human is…all the time. as implied in point number ten, they are very keen on following you to the bathroom. This is because you are trapped there and are also in the process of making interesting smells (Ugh). But it continues if you go to the kitchen. There could be food there. The bedroom – of course it could be nap time. Pretty much anywhere that does NOT involved rain, your Yorkie will be on YOUR tail.

6. I will sleep wherever I want

Yorkies have an innate ability to crash out and sleep wherever they want. Beds are preferred, but in a pinch they will accept laps, newspapers, laptops, feet, pretty much anything. Yorkies are masters at a few key moves. First is the “spot steal”, in which your Yorkie will claim the spot on the couch where you were sat, and foolishly made the mistake in vacating for something trivial, like answering the phone. Second is the lack of sensitivity in their tummy to anything but water. They can sleep on books, toys, other animals, or just about anything. Finally, as possessors of a genius level IQ, they understand that World War Three could break out at any minute and they want to be fully rested, just in case.

5. Don’t sssshhhh me when you are on the phone and I am barking

Yorkies are probably the world’s most effective and dedicated watch dogs. They won’t be able to take down many burglars or intruders, unless they trip them over, but boy can they let you know that there is someone at the door…or in the street…or half a block away for that matter. They feel that this is their duty, and go beyond normal boundaries in their dedication as an alarm. No matter if it is your boss, your new love, or the President on the phone. Your Yorkie will let you know that the Border Collie from three doors down is chasing birds in it’s back yard again.

4. Don’t try to trick me out in the rain


Contrary to popular belief, Yorkies are not made of skin cells, fur, blood and bones. They are actually made of sugar and WILL melt if exposed to rain for any length of time. As Yorkies are also very intelligent, they know this. As such they will do whatever they can to avoid the rain and their expected demise.

3. Let me outside again, even though I JUST came in

However they feel about rain, they are very partial to going outside. They love to pee and poop, and sniff. Or basically just hang out. If they have been “unproductive” in their 20 minute bathroom break, don’t worry. Within two minutes of getting back inside the safety of the house, they will decide that their metabolism has told then it is time to go back out again. This can carry on for hours.

2. Feed me. Now. And now. And now.

The metabolism that seems to have no logic to it whatsoever, is of course fed by a hunger that makes just as little sense. Seriously, if you keep putting food down within a Yorkie’s reach, he will keep eating it. Forever. I am not kidding, these little portable trash cans, have the ability to apparently each more than a small family.

1. Don’t come home smelling of other dogs

The single most important rule in the list, is NOT to hang out with other dogs. Other humans is bad enough, and cats, well they can forgive that as they think cats are pretty stupid and need all of the help they can get. But come home smelling of another dog and you will be sniffed until you feel your ankles are about to dissolve. Then your Yorkie will get into the most foul sulk known to man or dog.

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